Lidarmos, It’s a Tuesday morning. You’re staring into your closet, and the gap between how you feel and what you’re “supposed” to wear has never felt wider. Maybe you’re tired. Maybe you’re anxious. Maybe you’re just… navigating a lot.
For years, I thought fashion was about two things: looking good for others, or following rules. Wear this to be professional. Wear that to be attractive. Follow these trends to be cool.
But I was missing the most important audience of all: myself.
I’ve come to believe that the most profound style choice we can make has nothing to do with seasonal colors or hem lengths. It’s a Portuguese concept I stumbled upon that doesn’t have a direct English translation, but it captures everything: Lidarmos.
Pronounced lee-dar-mosh, it comes from the verb “lidar,” which means “to deal with” or “to handle.” But Lidarmos is richer. It’s the first-person plural reflexive form: “How we deal with ourselves.” It’s the act of navigating our own emotions, our challenges, our daily reality. It’s the gentle, ongoing process of showing up for ourselves.
And our clothes are one of its most powerful, yet overlooked, tools.
What is “Lidarmos” Dressing?
Lidarmos dressing isn’t a trend you can buy off a runway. It’s an internal posture that manifests in your external layers. It’s the antithesis of “power dressing” where the armor is for the outside world. Instead, it’s self-care dressing, where the clothing is for the person inside the clothes.
It’s the quiet understanding that what you wear is part of how you cope, how you heal, how you celebrate, and how you simply get through the day.
Think about it:
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That impossibly soft, worn-in sweater you reach for on a gloomy day isn’t just a sweater. It’s a hug. It’s how you lidar with the gloom.
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The bright, colorful scarf you tie on when you need a boost isn’t just an accessory. It’s a personal flag of resilience. It’s how you lidar with a low mood.
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The pair of perfectly broken-in jeans and a trusted t-shirt you wear on a day full of errands isn’t a lazy outfit. It’s a uniform for ease and efficiency. It’s how you lidar with mental load.
Lidarmos is the fashion of self-preservation and self-expression, rolled into one. It’s deeply human because it starts not with “What do I want to project?” but with “What do I need today?”
The Three Pillars of a Lidarmos Wardrobe
So, how do you build a closet that helps you lidar? It’s less about specific items and more about a new relationship with the ones you have.
1. Comfort as a Foundation, Not a Concession
For too long, “comfortable” was fashion’s dirty word—it implied frumpiness, a lack of effort. Lidarmos flips this on its head. True comfort isn’t about being sloppy; it’s about being at ease in your own skin.
This means fabrics that feel good to you—breathable linen, stretchy denim, soft cotton, cozy wool. It means cuts that allow you to move, breathe, and exist without constant adjustment. It’s recognizing that if you’re going to deal with a stressful work presentation, your waistband shouldn’t be another thing you have to deal with.
Comfort is the baseline of respect you offer your body.
2. Intention Over Impression
Before you get dressed, pause for just five seconds. Ask yourself that Lidarmos question: “What do I need to support myself today?”
The answer will change daily.
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Need confidence? Maybe that’s your favorite structured blazer or a pair of boots that make you walk with purpose.
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Need calm? That could be your favorite flowy dress in a soothing color, or loose, soft trousers.
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Need joy? Perhaps it’s the socks with the silly pattern, the earrings that catch the light, or the shirt in your favorite vibrant hue.
When you dress with intention for yourself, you stop being a billboard for trends and start being a living expression of your inner state. The impression you make on others becomes a genuine byproduct of your own self-support, not the primary goal.
3. Authenticity as Your Guide
A Lidarmos wardrobe is inevitably a curated one. It’s filled with pieces that feel like you. This requires a gentle but firm dismissal of the “shoulds.”
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“I should wear heels to look more professional.” → Do they make you feel capable, or just in pain?
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“I should buy this trendy item everyone is wearing.” → Does it spark joy for you, or just anxiety about fitting in?
Letting go of the “shoulds” makes room for the “wants.” You start to gravitate towards colors, textures, and shapes that genuinely resonate with your spirit. Your style becomes a collection of personal signatures, not a replica of someone else’s look.
Your Lidarmos Starter Kit
Feeling inspired? Here’s how to start tomorrow morning:
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The Closet Audit: Go through your clothes. Hold each piece. Does it make you feel supported, comfortable, and like yourself? If not, thank it for its service and move it out. Create space for what truly serves you.
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The Morning Check-In: Before you open that closet door, take a breath. Place a hand on your heart and ask: “How am I today? What do I need?” Let the answer guide your hands.
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Identify Your Anchors: What are your three most trusted, go-to items? The ones that never let you down. Recognize them as your Lidarmos anchors. Keep them accessible for when you need them most.
Lidarmos isn’t about achieving a perfect, minimalist capsule wardrobe. It’s messy, human, and deeply personal. Some days, your lidar might be a crisp, empowering outfit. Other days, it might be the same sweatpants you’ve worn for three days because that’s the level of softness your soul requires. Both are perfect.
Because in the end, Lidarmos reminds us that fashion isn’t frivolous. It’s a daily dialogue with ourselves. It’s the gentle, tangible practice of wrapping ourselves in care, one garment at a time.
So, go on. Be kind to yourself. And let your clothes be part of that kindness.